Tales from Berger - Part II

This morning all of the ladies in the office received an email about bathroom etiquette. I wish I could say it was the first one we'd received, but sadly it is not.

The email was pertaining to a certain issue we've all been noticing lately. In the first stall, it is not uncommon to find pee all over the seat. Ok, gross. But wait, there's more. In the past few weeks, the pee is now not only on the seat, but a considerable amount is splashed all over the floor. Grosser, but yet - confusing?

How is this woman even achieving that? Is it possible to spot her by wet pants at her ankles? I, myself, am not a public-toilet hoverer. That bathroom is cleaned no less than four times a day. Four times. I'm lucky if mine gets cleaned twice in one month. There is nothing so precious about my derriere that it cannot sit on a perfectly clean toilet seat. (Sidenote: I used to think it was spelled "Dairy Air" which, having grown up next to a dairy farm, I found quite appropriate). So, the whole premise of the 'hovering' phenomenon is beyond my comprehension. But, even if I could understand such a phobia, our office kindly supplies paper toilet covers for use in just such a situation. Why must the phantom pee'er insist on hovering?

Unless this woman is wearing skirts each and every day (note to self, be on the look out for frequent skirt-wearers), I have no idea how this feat is being accomplished. A coworker suggested that perhaps the woman is from Asia, where squat toilets are more common and that Berger may need to post signs like this in the bathroom:

Squatting = BAD!

Hopefully, with the DC-wide email sent out, the person responsible will discover her poor bathroom etiquette is not appreciated. But until then, I'll be sure to sit at least two stalls over, well out of the slash-zone.

Happy Thursday!